The Truth About Depression: It’s Not a Gift—It’s a Battle
February Feels: The Hardest Stretch Before the Light
Now that it’s February, this might be the hardest time of the year—for you, for me, for so many of us. It’s still dark in the mornings, still cold, still gray. The holiday lights are long gone, but the sunshine hasn’t returned yet. The novelty of the new year has worn off, and the grind feels endless.
But take heart—the worst is behind us. The light is coming back. It’s almost spring. Hang in there.
The Reality We Don’t Talk About Enough
We’ve all heard the shiny version of depression: that it makes us deeper, more creative, more empathetic. But let’s be honest—depression isn’t a gift. It’s a battle you never asked for. It’s not romantic or noble. It’s draining and invisible and unpredictable.
You can do everything “right”—see a therapist, take your meds, exercise, eat well, get sunlight—and still feel stuck in the dark. That’s what makes it so hard to talk about. Because when you’ve checked every box and it still hurts, it’s easy to feel like you’re failing.
I know, because I’ve been there.
When the Tools Don’t Work
I’ve been severely depressed. I’ve spent days in bed, staring at the ceiling, knowing exactly what might help—but not having the strength or belief to do it.
I’m medicated. I’ve gone to therapy. I exercise. I take vitamin D. I follow every “depression hack” you’ll find in an article or a TED Talk. Sometimes they help. Sometimes they don’t.
And when they don’t, it sucks. It really does.
Depression doesn’t always respond to effort. It doesn’t care that you’re a positive person. It doesn’t care that you’ve helped others, that you have goals, or that you’ve “been here before.” Sometimes, it just shows up for no reason and refuses to leave.
The Waiting Game
Here’s what I’ve learned: sometimes you just have to wait it out. You don’t have to fix it today. You don’t have to perform happiness. You don’t have to be productive. Just breathe. Take your meds. Shower if you can. Eat something. Go outside, even if only for five minutes.
Do what you can, when you can.
And if that means you stay in bed today—so be it. You’re not weak. You’re surviving.
Because here’s the truth: it will pass. It always has before, and it will again.
You don’t need to rush to get better. You just need to stay long enough to see the light come back. And it will.
The Part People Don’t See
Most people see me smiling. Teaching. Speaking. Encouraging others to find happiness. They don’t see the mornings when I struggle to make coffee or the nights when I’m fighting to fall asleep because my mind won’t quiet down.
They don’t see the crash after a great week. The sadness that comes out of nowhere. The ache that can’t be explained.
But that’s part of living with depression—it’s invisible to everyone except the person carrying it.
Even when I’m down, though, I remind myself of this: I’m still me. Still valuable. Still worthy of love and good things. My worth isn’t measured by my mood.
Neither is yours.
The Hope Beneath the Gray
If you’re struggling right now, I see you. February can be brutal. The cold seeps in, and the world feels suspended between winter and spring. It’s easy to feel like this heaviness will never lift.
But it will. The light is coming back—minute by minute, day by day. You may not feel it yet, but it’s there.
Hang in there. Keep breathing. Keep showing up however you can. The gray won’t last forever.
Phil’s Happiness Practice
This week, focus on endurance—not improvement.
Don’t measure success by how happy you feel. Measure it by how many times you keep trying, how many mornings you wake up and face the day, even if you don’t want to.
If you can, step outside and look up. Notice the daylight lasting just a little longer than last week. That’s hope showing up quietly. That’s proof that seasons change—even the ones inside us.
Spring is coming.
Hold on.
PS If this season is hard for you, considering download my free e-book, Weathering the Long Winter. No opt-in or tricks. Just a helpful resource from me to you.
I appreciate this post Phil. Depression is something that just kind of sucks. It's not interesting or exciting like anger. It's more like having a bad cold that drags on for weeks and you just have to endure the sucky-ness.
Sometimes something just triggers me and I'll fall into a depressed space. And, yes, as you wrote, I just have to ride it out. Fortunately, life shifts and I begin to feel better.
I wonder, too, if our current culture with so much divisiveness and casual cruelty contributes? Certainly can't be helping.
Spring is just around the corner. More sunlight and lots of flowers and green leaves.
One of the things I do to survive February is to ask Siri on my phone what time the sun rise was this morning and what time the sunset will be tonight and then I ask again what time the sun will rise tomorrow and what time it will set… it's currently at one minute earlier for the sunrise tomorrow and one minute later for the sunset tomorrow night… And I am comforted by knowing that each day right now we are gaining two minutes more of sunlight. There's something extremely hopeful in that for me. Add this to my daily PQ practice is one of my survival tools. (glad to share more about that PQ practice on the DM channel if you or anybody else wants to know about it;)