Say It While They’re Here: The Power of Speaking Good Things Intentionally

Don’t save the good stuff for a funeral

Imagine this scene: you’re sitting in a quiet room, surrounded by friends and family. Someone rises to speak, and their words are heartfelt and poignant. They share stories of love, admiration, and the difference someone made in their life. It’s moving, beautiful—and a little tragic. Why? Because the person these words are meant for isn’t there to hear them.

Funerals have a way of drawing out the best in people’s memories. Even the most stoic individuals find themselves compelled to express the impact someone had on their lives. But wouldn’t it be better if those words were spoken not in farewell but in celebration? What if the heartfelt tributes we save for funerals were shared during birthdays, holidays, or even an ordinary Tuesday?

Here’s the simple truth: everything we say at funerals, we should say at birthdays and holidays. Intentional praise and recognition have the power to transform relationships, create lasting memories, and infuse everyday moments with extraordinary joy. Let’s explore why we need to start speaking these good things now—and how to make it a habit.

The Power of Spoken Affirmation

Words matter. Neuroscience shows that hearing positive affirmations activates the brain’s reward system, boosting feelings of happiness and connection. For the recipient, it can be a moment of validation, encouragement, or even healing. For the speaker, it fosters gratitude and strengthens bonds.

At funerals, we’re unfiltered about sharing the positive. We highlight someone’s strengths, the lessons they taught us, and the ways they touched our lives. But in everyday life, those same sentiments are often left unsaid. Why? Because we assume people already know how we feel—or we get caught up in the busyness of life and forget to say them at all.

What’s Stopping Us?

1. The Illusion of Time

We often think, There’s plenty of time to say that later. But life is unpredictable, and the right moment may never come. Waiting until the end robs us—and the people we care about—of experiencing the joy these affirmations could bring.

2. Cultural Conditioning

Many of us grow up in environments where compliments are sparse and vulnerability is avoided. Sharing heartfelt praise can feel awkward or even risky, as if exposing too much of our emotions will make us weak. But this mindset keeps us from forming deeper, more meaningful connections.

3. Fear of Rejection

Sometimes, we worry that our words won’t be well-received or might even be misinterpreted. But more often than not, people are grateful—sometimes overwhelmingly so—when we express genuine, thoughtful appreciation.

Why Wait for a Funeral?

Birthdays and holidays already bring people together, making them the perfect occasions to celebrate one another. But instead of focusing solely on gifts, parties, or traditions, these moments can also be opportunities to share the kind of affirmations that people carry in their hearts forever.

Imagine this:

• At a birthday dinner, you go around the table and have each guest share something they admire about the person being celebrated.

• During a holiday gathering, you pause the festivities to express gratitude for how someone has impacted your life over the past year.

• On an ordinary day, you send a text, write a note, or call someone just to say how much they mean to you.

These intentional actions might seem small, but they have the power to make people feel seen, valued, and loved.

How to Be More Intentional About Saying Good Things

1. Make It a Habit

Start by incorporating affirmations into your regular interactions. Compliment someone’s effort at work, thank a friend for their loyalty, or tell a family member how much you admire their kindness. The more you practice, the easier it becomes.

2. Set Reminders

Life gets busy, and good intentions often fall by the wayside. Set reminders for birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays to intentionally share something meaningful with the people in your life.

3. Write It Down

Not everyone is comfortable with verbal expressions of emotion, and that’s okay. A handwritten note or thoughtful email can be just as powerful—and sometimes even more enduring.

4. Celebrate the Ordinary

Don’t wait for milestones or gatherings to share your thoughts. Surprise someone by praising them for a small but meaningful act, like their patience, humor, or generosity.

5. Teach and Model

If you have kids, teach them the importance of speaking kind words by modeling the behavior yourself. Children who grow up in environments rich in affirmation are more likely to develop strong emotional intelligence and resilience.

The Ripple Effect

When you intentionally say good things, you create a ripple effect. Your words may inspire someone to see themselves in a more positive light or motivate them to pay kindness forward. In workplaces, affirmations can boost morale and strengthen team dynamics. In families, they can heal old wounds and create stronger connections.

The impact of spoken praise goes far beyond the moment it’s delivered. It lingers in the heart and mind of the recipient, sometimes for a lifetime.

Start Today

Think about someone in your life right now. It could be a spouse, parent, child, coworker, or friend. What have you been meaning to tell them? What do you admire about them? What would you say if you knew you only had one chance to express it?

Don’t wait. Whether it’s a simple text, a heartfelt conversation, or a meaningful toast at the next gathering, say the good things now. Celebrate people while they’re here to hear it.

Life is fleeting, but your words have the power to create moments that last forever. Let’s stop saving our kindest words for funerals and start sharing them in the everyday moments that truly matter. After all, the time to say something good isn’t later—it’s now.