How do deal with sadness and disappointment in the right now
Right now I’m dealing with a lot of sadness and disappointment, for reasons deeply personal to me. It’s one of the hardest times of my life and I’m doing what I can to get through it. I’ll share what I’m doing, hoping it might help you too.
Deep or Box breathing - lots of deep breaths these days. LOTS of them. In. Out. In. Hold it. Breathe out.
When this doesn’t help and gets to be too much, I’ll even box-breathe. Here’s what box-breathing is. It’s what the Navy SEALs do so if they can do it to calm down, I can try it.
Inhale slowly through your nose while counting to four
Hold your breath for four seconds
Exhale slowly through your mouth for four seconds
Hold your exhalation for four seconds
How’s your breathing? This might help if it’s not as good as it could be.
Practice gratitude - what’s good right now? 3 things. Big things. Little things. Doesn’t matter. Something good is happening. Zero in on it and focus your energy on it. I’m focusing on my health a lot and so I’m doing things to keep that strong. What about you?
Say and mean thank you to those you don’t know who help you - Think about the wait staff, the people at the grocery store, the person who let you into their lane driving so you could get over, all people to thank, whether they can hear you or not. The key is really focusing on them and meaning it.
Who has helped you recently that you don’t know? Have you said thank you, or thought hard about them and thanked them in your heart?
Phone a friend to share something positive - I’ve called a few friends and asked them to share something good happening for them - and I’ve shared what’s good for me. It reminds me it’s not that bad.
Who can boost your spirits with something positive? Call them and listen to them.
Watch something funny or positive - I’m enjoying some old SNL. I’m going to rewatch Ted Lasso. Shifting my focus to laughter helps my mind break from the right now.
What show makes you laugh or at least smile?
Send STOP to all bulk text messages - I signed up or was signed up for a lot of bulk text messages. They no longer fit me. They’re angry and filled with rage. So if it says stop to end, I reply with stop to end and they’re gone.
Even more fun is to delete and report junk - even tho I known that likely won’t do anything.
Review positive saved posts - I have over 800 saved posts that make me happy. Seems like now is a good time to review them.
Have you saved any good news over the years? Got a journal filled with memories of a happier time? Take time now to review it and see if it can brighten your today.
Don’t engage in the bait on social media - many are gloating and many are sad on social media. Both are right - and both are wrong for me. So I don’t engage - or even give it any of my precious head space.
You may not want to stay off of social media completely, so instead, just keep scrolling when you see some engagement bait. It’s not worth it and it sure as heck won’t change anyone’s mind.
Make a list of things that have worked for you in the past, and see if any of them work for you now. The past leaves clues and sometimes, that’s all we’ve got, so take the time to think about happier times, what you did to get yourself happier, stuff like that.
Maybe some of these - maybe none of these - are right for you. If you’re struggling, they’re all worth trying. I hope they help you as much as they’ve helped me.
Do you have something you’ve done that has helped you be happier or at least more at peace? Let me know by leaving a comment or if you get this via email, just reply to the email. Thanks in advance!
Thanks for sharing openly Phil. Sorry you are going through this time and wishing you more good moments each day. I also do tapping on my body to stimulate energy/pressure points, and this also helps my nervous system to feel safe and regulate out of flight/flight/freeze states I may be in. Try below the collar bone, arm pit, side ribs, temple, and top of head while breathing deeply and saying/listening to some positive affirmations. One day at a time. One hour at a time. All the best to you!