Aligned, Not Behind
Why the secret to happiness isn’t about catching up, but about moving at the rhythm that’s right for you.
We live in a world obsessed with speed.
The speed of your career path.
The speed of your personal milestones.
The speed of your side hustle, your workout, even your morning routine.
It feels like there’s always a scoreboard flashing in the background, reminding you that someone else is ahead. They’ve already bought the house, landed the role, built the following, or crossed the finish line you didn’t even know you were supposed to be running toward.
But what if happiness wasn’t about catching up?
What if it was about slowing down—or even speeding up—until you find the rhythm that feels right for you?
That’s what I call JOGAYOP: The Joy of Going At Your Own Pace.
The Freeway Metaphor
Picture this: you’re on the freeway, cruising along at a speed that feels comfortable. Then—zoom!—a car whips past you. A minute later, someone’s crawling in front of you, way below the speed limit.
Suddenly, you’re agitated. You’re thinking about speeding up or changing lanes. Not because your pace wasn’t working, but because someone else’s pace made you question it.
That’s life. We constantly look left and right, measuring ourselves against other people’s timelines, choices, and energy levels.
But here’s the truth: their lane is not your lane. Their speed is not your speed. Their journey is not your journey.
Why JOGAYOP Matters
At work: Maybe you thrive on fast, ambitious sprints, while someone else builds slowly and steadily. Neither is wrong—unless you force yourself into the wrong rhythm.
In your personal life: Maybe you need more rest than your peers. Maybe you’re more spontaneous than your siblings. JOGAYOP means letting go of the guilt of not being “productive” the way someone else defines it.
In your well-being: One person’s five CrossFit classes a week could be another’s slow daily walk. The right pace is the one that gives you energy—not the one that earns you bragging rights.
When you honor your own pace, you stop asking, Am I behind? and start asking, Am I aligned?
Why It’s Hard
JOGAYOP sounds simple, right? Just go at your own pace.
But it’s hard because comparison is everywhere. We’ve been conditioned from school grades to LinkedIn updates to measure our value by how quickly we move through life. Slowing down—or moving differently—can feel like failure.
It also requires trust. Trust that you’re not missing out. Trust that your journey will unfold as it’s meant to. Trust that “behind” and “ahead” are illusions.
Why It’s Worth It
When you let go of other people’s pace, you get:
Peace of mind: You no longer feel like life is a race you’re losing.
Energy: You stop burning out chasing timelines that aren’t yours.
Joy: You experience the quiet contentment of living in rhythm with yourself.
And here’s the paradox: often, when you stop racing others, you go further. Not faster—but further. Because the pace is sustainable.
How to Practice JOGAYOP
Here are three practices to help you embody JOGAYOP:
Name your lane. Write down your top three priorities this season. Keep them visible. When others race by, remind yourself, “That’s not my lane. My lane is…”
Set your pace. Reflect honestly: are you moving this fast because it fuels you, or because you feel pressured? Are you slowing down because you’re tired, or because you’re afraid? Adjust accordingly.
Celebrate your rhythm. Stop clapping for milestones you don’t care about. Instead, celebrate the ones that reflect your rhythm—like finishing a project, resting well, or enjoying a meal without rushing.
Reflection Questions
Where in your life do you feel the pressure to match someone else’s pace?
What would it look like to go at the rhythm that feels just right for you?
If you trusted that your lane was enough, how would your days feel different?
The Hard Simple Thing
JOGAYOP is simple: Go at your own pace.
But it’s hard because it means ignoring the noise, resisting comparison, and trusting your unique path.
Yet if we practiced it—really practiced it—we’d all be happier.
Because joy doesn’t live in being ahead. It lives in being aligned.
So today, take a breath. Stay in your lane. Find the joy of going at your pace.
That’s JOGAYOP.