How to Stay Positive When You’re Feeling Anything But

Nobody is always positive. So what can we do when life is bringing us lemons?

Life has a way of piling on stress, often when we least expect it. Recently, I’ve found myself navigating a sea of stress—though I won’t dive into the specifics, trust me when I say it’s been a lot. What matters most isn’t the stress itself, but how I’ve managed to stay mostly positive through it all. I won’t claim that I’ve stayed upbeat 100% of the time (who could?), but I’ve discovered some key strategies that have helped me hold onto optimism, even when life feels heavy. And since the stress isn’t going away anytime soon, I know I’ll need to keep leaning on these tools.

If you’re going through something similar, here are the ways I’ve found that help me maintain my positivity—and they just might help you too.

1. Practice Daily Gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful tool, and it’s been one of the most effective ways for me to keep a positive outlook. Every morning, I make it a point to acknowledge three things I’m grateful for. It could be something as small as a warm cup of coffee or as significant as a friend who checked in on me. There’s something transformative about shifting your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right.

Why does it work? Gratitude rewires our brains to recognize the good in life, even when challenges are present. When you start your day by focusing on what you appreciate, you’re setting a positive tone that can carry you through the stress. And the best part? These don’t have to be huge life-altering moments—they can be the small joys that are so easy to overlook.

2. Cheer Others On

One of the quickest ways to shift the spotlight from your own struggles is to celebrate others’ successes. Whether it’s someone’s birthday, anniversary, or a major life accomplishment like a book launch, I’ve made it a habit to actively cheer others on. A simple “Congrats!” or sending a quick message can not only lift someone else’s spirits, but it also gives me a break from my own stress.

There’s something uplifting about genuinely being happy for others. It reminds me that life isn’t all about the weight of what’s on my shoulders. Celebrating others brings a sense of connection, and it’s a great reminder that good things are happening all around us—even if they aren’t happening to us directly at the moment.

3. Reach Out and Help Others

When stress starts to feel overwhelming, one of the most meaningful actions I’ve found is reaching out to friends or family. Whether it’s a quick call or a longer, rich conversation, I try to make an effort to connect with the people I care about. Sometimes, the conversation is as simple as catching up. Other times, I go out of my way to help someone with something they’re struggling with.

Helping others has an amazing way of putting your own troubles into perspective. It’s not about distracting yourself from your problems, but rather stepping outside of them for a little while. By focusing on someone else’s needs, you’ll often find that the weight you’ve been carrying lightens, if only temporarily. And, in return, those rich conversations help fill you back up when you’re feeling depleted.

4. Accept Help When It’s Offered

This one has been tough for me, and I know I’m not alone here. I don’t like asking for help, let alone accepting it when it’s offered. But I’ve learned that saying yes to help is actually a sign of strength, not weakness. Whether it’s someone offering to take a task off my plate, giving me advice, or just lending an ear, I’ve been working on saying “yes, thank you” instead of brushing it off.

We don’t have to do everything alone. It’s okay to let others step in and assist when you’re feeling stretched thin. Accepting help doesn’t mean you’re incapable—it means you’re human. And by allowing others to support you, you’re actually giving them the opportunity to show they care, which in turn can deepen those relationships.

5. Write It Out—Privately

Sometimes, the stress feels too much to contain, and that’s when writing becomes my outlet. I don’t write for an audience; I write purely for myself. Journaling is where I can pour out all the pain, frustration, and heartache without judgment. It’s a safe space to let go of the pent-up emotions that can easily turn into overwhelm if left unchecked.

There’s something cathartic about putting your feelings into words, even if no one else ever reads them. Writing gives me a way to process what’s going on in my head and heart without the fear of burdening anyone else. Plus, it helps me release the pressure before it builds up too much. Afterward, I often feel lighter, and more capable of taking on whatever challenges come my way.

6. End the Day with “Three Good Things”

Just as I start my day with gratitude, I end it by thinking about three good things that happened during the day. Some days, these are big wins—like wrapping up a project or receiving great news. Other days, the three good things might be as simple as getting outside for a walk or having a delicious meal. But no matter how my day has gone, I always try to find at least three things that went right.

This exercise is a way of closing the day on a positive note, even if the day itself was filled with stress or setbacks. By taking a moment to reflect on the good, I can quiet my mind and remind myself that no matter how tough things are, there’s always something to be grateful for.

Final Thoughts

Staying positive when life feels anything but easy is a challenge, but it’s not impossible. It doesn’t mean ignoring your stress or pretending everything is perfect. Instead, it’s about making intentional choices that shift your mindset and focus toward what’s good, even in the middle of hardship.

Gratitude, cheering others on, connecting with loved ones, accepting help, writing your emotions out, and ending the day with positivity are small yet powerful steps you can take to maintain optimism when times get tough. I’m not saying it’s always easy—but I am saying it’s worth it. With these strategies, I’ve found a way to stay mostly positive, and maybe you will too. Keep going; brighter days are ahead.